Good, Better, Best!

I've been having some real "Aha moments" this past summer-- Having the kids home has been wonderful in most ways but also challenging as I try to find a balance between getting things done and spending time with them. As a Mom there is always more things to do in a day than you have time for, more dishes, more clothes, more wash, more cleaning, more reading, more tantrum solving, more things you'd like to get done if you had the time, more "I would love to organize that" if I could get around to it, etc. etc. I have a closet that is almost funny how badly organized it isn't! All of that aside, and also stating that I am all about having my kids doing their chores and trying to have a clean home, A year from now, or 10 years from now are the kids going to say,"Boy! Remember that Summer when the house was so clean and how good the closets looked?!" OF COURSE NOT! At least I'd be very surprised if they did! But hopefully they will remember me being with them -- spending time-- being present (as Emilee puts it). Sis. Spencer in our ward gave a great talk a couple of weeks ago that really hit me -- She said as a Mom it is soooo important to read to your kids -- Ry is so great at always reading bed time stories to the kids while I get the baby down but now the baby goes down so well, I really have the time now. So he still reads to them but I have started reading a bigger book to the girls and it has been so much fun! So when I saw these GIANT marshmallows at the store, I had to get them to enjoy but to also help with a little thought - Good, better, best! Here are a few excerpts from the talk Dallin H. Oaks gave one it! I love it!!!

Most of us have more things expected of us than we can possibly do. As breadwinners, as parents, as Church workers and members, we face many choices on what we will do with our time and other resources.

We should begin by recognizing the reality that just because something is good is not a sufficient reason for doing it. The number of good things we can do far exceeds the time available to accomplish them. Some things are better than good, and these are the things that should command priority attention in our lives.

Jesus taught this principle in the home of Martha. While she was “cumbered about much serving” , her sister, Mary, “sat at Jesus’ feet, and heard his word”. When Martha complained that her sister had left her to serve alone, Jesus commended Martha for what she was doing but taught her that “one thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her”. It was praiseworthy for Martha to be “careful and troubled about many things”, but learning the gospel from the Master Teacher was more “needful.” The scriptures contain other teachings that some things are more blessed than others

A childhood experience introduced me to the idea that some choices are good but others are better. I lived for two years on a farm. We rarely went to town. Our Christmas shopping was done in the Sears, Roebuck catalog. I spent hours poring over its pages. For the rural families of that day, catalog pages were like the shopping mall or the Internet of our time.

Something about some displays of merchandise in the catalog fixed itself in my mind. There were three degrees of quality: good, better, and best. For example, some men’s shoes were labeled good ($1.84), some better ($2.98), and some best ($3.45).1

As we consider various choices, we should remember that it is not enough that something is good. Other choices are better, and still others are best. Even though a particular choice is more costly, its far greater value may make it the best choice of all.

Consider how we use our time in the choices we make in viewing television, playing video games, surfing the Internet, or reading books or magazines. Of course it is good to view wholesome entertainment or to obtain interesting information. But not everything of that sort is worth the portion of our life we give to obtain it. Some things are better, and others are best. When the Lord told us to seek learning, He said, “Seek ye out of the best books words of wisdom”

Some of our most important choices concern family activities. Many breadwinners worry that their occupations leave too little time for their families. There is no easy formula for that contest of priorities. However, I have never known of a man who looked back on his working life and said, “I just didn’t spend enough time with my job.”

In choosing how we spend time as a family, we should be careful not to exhaust our available time on things that are merely good and leave little time for that which is better or best. A friend took his young family on a series of summer vacation trips, including visits to memorable historic sites. At the end of the summer he asked his teenage son which of these good summer activities he enjoyed most. The father learned from the reply, and so did those he told of it. “The thing I liked best this summer,” the boy replied, “was the night you and I laid on the lawn and looked at the stars and talked.” Super family activities may be good for children, but they are not always better than one-on-one time with a loving parent.

The amount of children-and-parent time absorbed in the good activities of private lessons, team sports, and other school and club activities also needs to be carefully regulated. Otherwise, children will be overscheduled, and parents will be frazzled and frustrated. Parents should act to preserve time for family prayer, family scripture study, family home evening, and the other precious togetherness and individual one-on-one time that binds a family together and fixes children’s values on things of eternal worth. Parents should teach gospel priorities through what they do with their children.

Family experts have warned against what they call “the overscheduling of children.” In the last generation children are far busier and families spend far less time together. Among many measures of this disturbing trend are the reports that structured sports time has doubled, but children’s free time has declined by 12 hours per week, and unstructured outdoor activities have fallen by 50 percent.

The number of those who report that their “whole family usually eats dinner together” has declined 33 percent. This is most concerning because the time a family spends together “eating meals at home [is] the strongest predictor of children’s academic achievement and psychological adjustment.” Family mealtimes have also been shown to be a strong bulwark against children’s smoking, drinking, or using drugs. There is inspired wisdom in this advice to parents: what your children really want for dinner is you.

President Gordon B. Hinckley has pleaded that we “work at our responsibility as parents as if everything in life counted on it, because in fact everything in life does count on it.”

He continued: “I ask you men, particularly, to pause and take stock of yourselves as husbands and fathers and heads of households. Pray for guidance, for help, for direction, and then follow the whisperings of the Spirit to guide you in the most serious of all responsibilities, for the consequences of your leadership in your home will be eternal and everlasting.”

The First Presidency has called on parents “to devote their best efforts to the teaching and rearing of their children in gospel principles. … The home is the basis of a righteous life, and no other instrumentality can take its place … in … this God-given responsibility.” The First Presidency has declared that “however worthy and appropriate other demands or activities may be, they must not be permitted to displace the divinely-appointed duties that only parents and families can adequately perform.”